Our Wedding Day, Almost 16 Years On…

Let me take you way way back, to 2010 – Diana Vickers was No.1, the first Avatar film had not long been out and Iron Man 2 was top of the box office, and I was a 19 year old baby about to get married!

I’ll have been married for sixteen years this coming May, and when I look back on that day it comes with a whole mix of emotions. Love, gratitude, nostalgia… and, if I’m honest, a lot of lessons. Lessons about choice, boundaries, and what I’d do very differently when I eventually convince my husband to renew our vows. Lessons I hope might help anyone currently planning their own wedding day.

Because the truth is, our wedding day wasn’t what I wanted — and it wasn’t really what he wanted either.

We had no real budget. Family very kindly paid for a lot of things, and I’m endlessly grateful for that — but it also meant I didn’t feel like I had much control. When someone else is footing the bill, their opinions tend to carry weight, even when they don’t quite align with your own.

I had dreamed of a dove grey ballgown from BHS (a very specific 2010 dream), but instead I wore a white column dress with ruching and spaghetti straps. It wasn’t me. I didn’t feel beautiful in it, and that feeling lingered far longer than it should have — especially on a day that’s meant to be about joy. My mum paid, and so she had the final say. No drama, no fallout… just a quiet swallowing of what I actually wanted.

Our photographer was a gift too — again, incredibly generous — but they weren’t a wedding photographer. Looking back now, as a photographer myself, I understand just how much that mattered. The moments were there, but the storytelling wasn’t.

Family dynamics were… complicated. My mother-in-law wore black, cried in the toilets, and generally brought an energy that didn’t feel celebratory. (Please see Brooklyn Beckham’s Instagram posts if you’d like to find the vibes) We’ve long since gone our separate ways, but at the time I didn’t feel able to say, this doesn’t feel right for us.

I had no big hen do. No dress shopping experience. No bridesmaids. One flower girl. Hardly any friends there at all. And if that had been what I wanted? That would have been absolutely fine. But it wasn’t.

Our reception was a quiet cream tea that wrapped up by 3pm. And that was that. No dancing. No chaos. No late-night laughter. No big, messy celebration.

If I could go back, I would have waited.

I would have had a wedding that felt like a party — an afternoon ceremony rolling straight into a band, into food you can pick at, into dancing with people who actually know us. I wouldn’t have invited toxic family members out of obligation, or friends-of-parents I barely knew just because tradition said I should.

And that’s the biggest lesson I want to pass on:

Your wedding day is allowed to be yours — regardless of who pays for what.

You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to break tradition. You are allowed to not invite people who bring stress, guilt, or negativity into what should be one of the happiest days of your life.

There are things I’d absolutely keep the same though.

We wrote our own vows, and I would do that again in a heartbeat. That part felt so us. I loved my red roses — even when my great aunt told me they were bad luck. I walked down the aisle to Look After You by The Fray, and I still think that choice was perfect.

And one day — hopefully — we’ll renew our vows.

This time, our children will be there. It’ll be our people. No negative energy. No obligation invites. Just love, laughter, and support.

There will be a big emo disco. I’ll wear the colourful, glittery dress of my dreams. I’ll have a veil — even though I was once told I shouldn’t. There will be pink everywhere. Food we actually love (all the beef birria tacos please, burritos, and MARGS). And a photographer who truly gets us.

It will be a celebration that feels honest, joyful, and unapologetically ours.

And maybe that’s why weddings mean so much to me now — why I photograph them the way I do. Because I know how much it matters to feel seen, heard, and understood. I know how important it is to have someone in your corner, capturing your day as it really is — not how tradition says it should be.

If you’re planning your wedding and feeling overwhelmed, pressured, or pulled in a hundred different directions, let this be your permission slip:

Do it your way.

Future you will thank you for it.

Planning Your Wedding Your Way

If you’re currently planning your wedding and want a day that feels relaxed, personal, and unapologetically you, I see you. Whether you’re planning a big party, an intimate celebration, or something entirely non-traditional, your wedding should reflect your story — not anyone else’s expectations.

I photograph weddings across Devon and the South West for couples who want their day captured honestly: the emotion, the chaos, the quiet moments and the joy. No forced traditions. No awkward posing. Just real connection, real people, and a day that feels like home.

If that sounds like your vibe, I’d love to hear about what you’re planning.

Get in touch to chat about your wedding photography, or take a look at my recent work here.